How do you relate to your parents? Do you still obey them even after you are grown and out of their house? Sure, you are an adult now and can make your own decisions. You don’t need Mom and Dad any more.
The Bible calls us to honor our parents. It doesn’t tell us to honor our parents as long as we are minors. It also doesn’t tell us that we can forget about Mom and Dad as soon as we are adults. We are never on equal footing with them. We are always their children, even when we have children ourselves.
Obey My Parents?
I had to move back in with my mom, twice. The first time was after living on my own (with roommates) on the other side of the country for nearly two years. The second time? I was actually married with a baby and coming out of the Air Force.
You would think that being on my own as long as I had, I would be really independent and have that mother-daughter thing all worked out. Well, it doesn’t matter how old I am. As soon as I get into my mom’s house, I feel like a little kid again. I find myself wanting to obey, even when it goes against what I really want or need sometimes.
Setting Boundaries and Still Honoring
So, how exactly are we supposed to honor and obey our parents as adults? Here are a few suggestions:
- Come to them when you want and or need their help, but let them know when you don’t. They spent eighteen years looking out for you and helping you make the best decisions. It is probably second nature for them to butt in and take over.
- Listen to their opinions and thank them for caring about you. They only want what is best for you and are not always convinced you know what that is.
- Explain to them why you are thinking a certain way or why you made a certain decision. They may only see your actions or the end result. If you explain why you went with choice A instead of the choice B they wanted, they can see that you are thinking through things and may even come to see things your way.
- ALWAYS be respectful. You are human and so are your parents. You are not going to agree about everything. But disrespect is going to make matters the relationship so much worse and will never lead your parents to see you as an adult.
Have you struggled with how to relate to your parents now that you are grown? Leave a comment below sharing your story. And please share this post with someone who might find it useful.